Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Pee brained

One small rain shower, and the traffic infrastructure of Delhi collapses. It took me ~ 2 hours to go from Friends Colony to Saket – a distance of ~ 8 kilometers. There was an amusing highlight of this painful journey. So we’re stuck with bumper-to-bumper traffic under a flyover. The driver of the car behind me coolly switches his car off, gets off onto the pavement, and pees his bladder off on the flyover side in full public view. His composure is astonishing. When the car behind him honks at him, he looks over his back while still peeing and gives the honker a mouthful, perhaps vexed at this unsavory intrusion into his bio break. I change the music to a bluesy raga.

Though this blog is supposed to be a largely negative exercise – an aid to self-destruction, an encouraging little push over the abyss for all you neurotics out there -, I would like to offer something positive here. I call on you, gentle reader, to embarrass all those that pee in public audience. A few suggestions: Shoot a water gun in the general direction of the pee, and delightedly exclaim “Mine goes farther than yours”. This may be followed by a cursory shot in the direction of the peeing individual (here it is advised to use a real gun). Say “SMILEEEEE” and click a picture of the peeing individual doing his stuff in public view, and later put it on the internet. Better yet, get your cute doggie out of the car and make him pee right next to the peeing individual. Or on him. Further suggestions, and especially those of a more violent nature, are invited.


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